


Ace

by Bates



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Asexuality, College!AU, M/M, ace!Castiel, high school!au, negativity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 13:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3412964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bates/pseuds/Bates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They got together ages ago, but haven't had sex yet. It makes Dean feel just a little insecure about their relationship. Sure that Cas wants to break up with him, he just asks but the answer isn't what he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ace

**Author's Note:**

> **Written for a prompt[on tumblr;](http://buriedsam.tumblr.com/post/111693035116/ace) ** destiel fic, where they’ve been dating for a while now but they’ve never really /done/ anything and dean is starting to get self conscious about it until cas tells him he’s asexual and dean is just like ‘oh thank god i thought you were changing your mind about us’

It started small, with holding each other’s gazes when they passed each other in the hallways and mystery notes that were left in Cas’s locker, saying a whole range of inappropriate things. Everything from ' _you looked gorgeous today'_  to ' _you really have a nice ass'_. Castiel really should have taken more offence but, it was adorable really. Castiel’s brothers laughed when he came home on Valentine’s Day with a rose in his backpack and a blush on his cheeks.

Two weeks before the end of finals, Dean and he finally decided to go with it and had their first official date - having lunch together really didn't count. It went better than anyone had expected. The two were a weird pair; Castiel more of a nerd and Dean the rougher boy in school. People gossiped about them being gay long before they started holding hands in the hallways or kissing at their lockers. Castiel didn't care who saw them and after a while, Dean didn't either.

Funny enough, the gossiping hadn't really bothered them that much. The fact that they got Dean's sexuality wrong though? Cas had lost count of how many times Dean had grumbled that he was bisexual not gay. Hearing him complain was more adorable than annoying. Cas always stayed silent and just let it pass. They weren’t wrong about him, not  _exactly_  at least. After all, he was homoromantic. 

                                       

When they were still together after almost a year, people were surprised for sure. Even Castiel's family seemed to have expected the couple to have split up by Christmas. College was hard on Cas, but he still made sure that Dean and he could talk every other night. Skype really was the invention of the century.

Breaks were spend together, Cas sprawled out on the couch with his books when Dean was out working and he actually attempted cooking for Dean a few times. Okay, Cas had to admit that sometimes they just ordered pizza in and curled up on the couch because he had burned whatever he had attempted, but those were the best nights.

Sometimes though, Cas noticed just how off Dean was lately. He came home stressed and even though he told Castiel that he was fine, it still bothered him. He wanted to ask Dean what was wrong, ask him not to hide that frustration, but he didn’t. Dean needed his space sometimes.

“Cas?” he asked one night. Dean was curled up on his side, looking at him with a sadness and insecurity that made his heart ache. Cas was supposed to leave again in two days and he was already resigning it. Spending time with Dean always felt like coming home, away from all the stress and the college life. Now though, it was tense, more than tense. “Can I ask you something and would you answer me, honestly?”

“Of course,” he whispered back, “what’s wrong Dean?”

“Do you love me, Cas?” The question was so out of the blue that for a moment, all he could do was blink and stare, swallow.

“What? Of course I – you know that Dean.” Castiel sat up, pulling the covers closer around himself. His mind was going into panic mode, afraid that Dean may be breaking up with him, that this was his way of saying that he had enough. That Castiel’s weirdness had been too much.

“I’ve been getting mixed vibes here Cas,” he started, sitting up. “I know you wanted to take it slow but…” He fell silent, a blush creeping up on his cheeks. “Cas, we’ve been together for almost a year and we haven’t gone past kissing and lately you don’t even kiss me all that much. I know you’ve been stressed –“

“Oh no, Dean. Not at all. I should have… I should have told you before.” Castiel silenced his boyfriend with just the look in his eyes. “You are  _not_  to blame here. Far from. Dean, I’m ace. Asexual.” He rushed the words, feeling his heart beat faster each word. He had waited so long to tell him this,  _too long_. Maybe Dean wouldn’t want to deal with him, wouldn’t want to see him anymore. Cas would understand. He wouldn’t want to date somebody as broken as he was either. “I don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone. The reason we haven’t gone further and I haven’t initiated sex is because I don’t want sex.” He looked at his feet, at his toes peeping from under the comforter. “I’m… I’m sorry Dean.” Blood rushed in his ears as he waited for Dean's disgust, for his disapproval.

Dean didn’t get angry or upset with him. Quite the contrary. “Oh thank god. I thought you had enough of us. That you wanted to call this off or something.” He was silent for a little while. “Don’t you dare apologize, okay? Why did you?”

“Because Dean, I’m  _broken_.” There were tears in his eyes as he said it. He turned away from Dean unconsciously as he spoke. “I…I can’t give you anything. We’re teenagers, Dean. We’re supposed to. We’re supposed to have sex all the time and be proud of just how many blowjobs we’ve had.” He couldn’t stop the shiver from running down his spine, the nausea he felt just speaking those words. “I tried. Dean, but it wasn’t, it wasn’t what I wanted.” He wanted to say how awful he felt after having sex, how used and broken it made him feel. “It’s supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to feel good, but it, it doesn’t.”

“Look at me.” Dean’s hand forced him to look him in the eye. Those dark green eyes bore into his. “You are not broken, Cas. Who on earth gave you that idea? Sex isn’t important in a relationship. Help me understand here, what  _do_  you enjoy?”

“Cuddling,” he muttered, voice still thick with tears, “kissing, physical contact, just not sex.”

“So this is still okay?” he asked with a grin before pulling Cas closer and pressing his lips gently to his.  “We’ll find a way to get around the sex, Cas. You don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” Dean actually chuckled before resting his forehead against Cas’s. “I have never been more relieved than right now. I thought you were getting sick of me.”

“Nobody could ever get sick of you, you doofus. Who else would make me pancakes and fix my car?”

“Oh I got a number. Though I think you already got it though? It's this cute mechanic, didn't go to college, but he loves his cars.” Dean barely managed to suppress a yawn

“Go to sleep Dean. You need to get up in four hours.” Cas didn’t even bother hiding the affectionate smile as Dean let him crawl close and rest his head on his chest. Dean was warm as he always was, comfortable to cuddle up with.

“This okay?”

“Hmmm… perfect. I love you Dean.”

“I love you too Cas.”


End file.
